I've learnt so much over these past few months.
I've grown and in a way; i'm glad it's happened.
I'm finding myself and i'm letting go of the bits that have hurt others.
Things have changed for the best.

I'm in a really bad place right now.

Home is wherever i'm with you.

I HATE the HSC.
Stresssssssssss.

I just have to tell the world.

Patrick Toner is the most beautiful person you will ever come across.
I love him. And always will. He is my best friend and I trust him with my life. I do not deserve him, but i'm so glad he's around. He makes me happy when no one else can and stays with me through thick and thin. He really is the best person in the world.

This isn't the end, just a speedbump in the road of my life.

You've only made me stronger.

I want, I want, I want!

You'll never be what is in your heart.

Right now - everything has gone to shit.

I will wait for you, she said, endlessly.

Watch the stars, turn you to nothing. Now blush and smile as they whisk you away. Part your lips a bit more, I'll swallow your fear. I will show you how all the bite marks impress. A need to be here, a need to see. City lights, like rain, dance and explode. Fall upon debutantes. Reeling from nights that kiss and control, all of our broken hearts. Velvet burns wrists while obstraining. You blushed and smiled, and said you would stay. One more time steal my breath, I'll feed you the sky. I will show you how. Steal the glamour from death, and before you die, Oh, you should see. City lights, like rain, dance and explode. Fall upon debutantes. Reeling from nights that kiss and control, all of our, broken hearts. Our hearts, Our hearts. "We all want to die like movie stars" you said, as you jumped from the height of our cutting room floor. While above us glowing, exploding,our dreams burst forth in light in death. Hold me and tell me,"We'll burn like stars. We'll burn as we fall. Watch as city lights dance for us."City lights, like rain, dance and explode. Fall upon the pain of our lives, reeling from nights that kiss and control, fall apart, the pain of our lives. Broken hearts have pain. Dance and explode. City lights like rain. City lights so caress me. Kiss and Control. All of our, broken hearts.

Lost and delirious.

Everyone smiles with that invisible gun to their head.

I love the way you look at me.
I told myself I couldn't feel these feelings.. but you feel them too.
There's nothing we can do about it.
So I just sit, loving who you are.

"One day, you don’t feel like doing anything. Nothing interests you, everything bores you. Feel more and more empty inside, more and more dissatisfied with yourself and the world in general. Then even that feeling wears off, and you don’t feel anything anymore. You become completely indifferent to what goes on around you. You forget how to laugh and cry - you’re cold inside and incapable of loving anything or anyone. There’s no going back. The disease has a name. It’s called deadly tedium."

I NEED this dress. *in love*

Sleep paralysis occurs when the brain awakes from a REM state, but the body paralysis persists. This leaves the person fully conscious, but unable to move. The paralysis can last from several seconds to several minutes “after which the individual may experience panic symptoms and the realization that the distorted perceptions were false”.
In addition, the paralysis state may be accompanied by terrifying hallucinations (hypnopompic or hypnagogic) and an acute sense of danger. Sleep paralysis is particularly frightening to the individual because of the vividness of such hallucinations. The hallucinatory element to sleep paralysis makes it even more likely that someone will interpret the experience as a dream, since completely fanciful, or dream-like, objects may appear in the room alongside one’s normal vision. Some scientists have proposed this condition as an explanation for alien abductions and ghostly encounters.

Note: all the psychology/philosophy notes are for my extension two english research and my own interest in the subject.

Antisocial Personality Disorder: Lack of regard for the moral or legal standards in the local culture, marked inability to get along with others or abide by societal rules. Sometimes called psychopaths or sociopaths. Known as conduct disorder for persons under age 18.
Avoidant Personality Disorder: Marked social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy, and extremely sensitive to criticism.
Borderline Personality Disorder: Lack of one’s own identity, with rapid changes in mood, intense unstable interpersonal relationships, marked impulsively, instability in affect and in self image.
Dependent Personality Disorder: Extreme need of other people, to a point where the person is unable to make any decisions or take an independent stand on his or her own. Fear of separation and submissive behavior. Marked lack of decisiveness and self-confidence.
Histrionic Personality Disorder: Exaggerated and often inappropriate displays of emotional reactions, approaching theatricality, in everyday behavior. Sudden and rapidly shifting emotion expressions.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Behavior or a fantasy of grandiosity, a lack of empathy, a need to be admired by others, an inability to see the viewpoints of others, and hypersensitive to the opinions of others.
Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder: Characterized by perfectionism and inflexibility; preoccupation with uncontrollable patterns of thought and action.
Paranoid Personality Disorder: Marked distrust of others, including the belief, without reason, that others are exploiting, harming, or trying to deceive him or her; lack of trust; belief of others’ betrayal; belief in hidden meanings; unforgiving and grudge holding.
Schizoid Personality Disorder: Primarily characterized by a very limited range of emotion, both in expression of and experiencing; indifferent to social relationships.
Schizotypal Personality Disorder: Peculiarities of thinking, odd beliefs, and eccentricities of appearance, behavior, interpersonal style, and thought (e.g., belief in psychic phenomena and having magical powers).

Depressive realism is the proposition that people with depression have a more accurate perception of reality, specifically that they are less affected by the positive illusions of illusory superiority, the illusion of control and optimism bias. It must be understood that this refers specifically to people with borderline or moderate depression — while normal people see things in too positive a light, severely depressed people see things in too negative a light, leaving a “grey” area in between that leads to the most accurate perceptions of reality.

Absurdism is a philosophy stating that the efforts of humanity to find meaning in the universe ultimately fail (and hence are absurd), because no such meaning exists, at least in relation to the individual.
In absurdist philosophy, the Absurd arises out of the fundamental disharmony between the individual’s search for meaning and the apparent meaninglessness of the universe. As beings looking for meaning in a meaningless world, humans have three ways of resolving the dilemma.
Suicide (or, “escaping existence”): a solution in which a person simply ends one’s own life.
Religious belief in a transcendent realm or being: a solution in which one believes in the existence of a reality that is beyond the Absurd, and, as such, has meaning.
Acceptance of the Absurd: a solution in which one accepts and even embraces the Absurd and continues to live in spite of it.

The human mind is a wonderful thing. Cognition, the act or process of thinking, enables us to process vast amounts of information quickly. For example, every time your eyes are open, you brain is constantly being bombarded with stimuli. You may be consciously thinking about one specific thing, but your brain is processing thousands of subconscious ideas. Unfortunately, our cognition is not perfect, and there are certain judgment errors that we are prone to making, known in the field of psychology as cognitive biases. They happen to everybody regardless of age, gender, education, intelligence, or other factors. Some of them are well known, others not, but all of them are interesting. I am sure everyone will find that one has happened to them, (I myself have been prone to several) and now will recognize when they are making an error in the future.