Made a Tumblr.

http://rippedjeansandshattereddreams.tumblr.com/

Agyness Deyn - My Girl Crush.

Yummy.

I miss the rain. The crazy thunderstorms I used to ecounter when I was younger. The lightening and thunder leaving me running to my bed to hide under the covers as I listened to the pouring rain and fell asleep. The rain feels like a safety blanket over my body, covering me in some sort of natural security, my being unable to feel overwhelmed by the enormousness of the world. The wet, clean smell of rain soaking into the grass, the droplets dripping off the tips of leaves, the windows covered in by nature's paint. Rain is beautiful.

I missed taking photographs. I'm back in the game, baby.
Fuck you HSC, I'm still going to do what I love.

Red hair.

Found this poor little dear in my garden. Called his owner.
She picked him up and I got a few photographs out of it.

I want to sleep in one of these.

I really do have some of the most amazing friends.
Thankyou, for keeping me here.
Mental breakdown = over.

Sometimes I feel like I'm following in your footsteps...

Sometimes I really hate my mother.

Everybody, everybody just wanna fall in love.

I'm sorry.

I don't feel well tonight. Everything is getting to me. Getting to me in some magnified way. Things that didn't used to upset me do and problems I overcame are coming back again. When I go to therapy they tell me this is normal. To feel the way I do. To feel angry, depressed, impulsive, exhausted and completely anxious. I find myself not wanting to eat because everytime I do I feel sick. It doesn't feel right. I was okay. I was healing and I was starting to feel well. But now I feel like I've taken a huge step back. My body is overcome with emotion. Hands clammy, heart pounding, eyes tearing and nausea rising. I feel like this everday. Everyday at some point in time, I feel as though my life is over, there's nothing left, I've fucked up and there's nothing I can do to fix it. I hurt people, not just one. I hurt them and I didn't even realise what I was doing. I'm sorry. To everyone I ever hurt. I am. I am 100% fucking sorry. I never meant to hurt anyone. In fact, my nature is quite the opposite. I have a heart, I care more than most people ever would and I'm terrible unstable. Whenever I see you, I feel my body collapse and my heart beat just that little bit slower because I know you will never look at me the same way again. My anger is rising and I can feel myself losing control. I want to scream, kick, punch, tear, rip, smash... until I feel at peace. I can cry and cry and cry and drink and smoke and fuck and ignore it all, but when it comes down to it, it's always there, in the back of my mind.

When I was young, I always dreamt that I lived underwater. In a place a bit like this. Everything was calm, balanced and under control, there was no conflict or unecessary rushing of time. A minute felt like a minute and a year felt like a year. Time and space have become so blurred, so forgotten yet emphasised in the world we live in today. Nothing really is as it is. An hour can feel like a decade and a year can feel like a second.