First day of year twelve. I found out i came first in my year for photography and that pretty much made my day. I'm so happy that i got first in something, haha. I got my idea for my english extension major work, which takes a lot of stress of me and i've also decided to do costume design as my IP for drama instead of a monologue. I have two novels i have to read, then re-read in the time of around two, three months. I also have to annotate basically every page. Thankyou to whoever invented post-its. I'm actually really looking forward to this year, aside from religion class. I just can't seem to find an interest in it. I tried to take it as a history subject, but everytime the teacher says something remotely Catholic i fall back into the stage of hating religion. It's so cult-like. I've pretty much given up on having faith in anything. "You're lead such an instable life." My mother said that to me today and i suppose in a way she is right and in another she is completelty incorrect. I know where i want to go in life, I have morals and I know what I like and don't like. I go to school. I live at home. I do my homework. I eat the food my parents make and i help whenever i can. I think that's pretty stable.. Or maybe she was talking about my emotional state. I'm not entirely sure. I know what she means in a way. I am undeniably impulsive. I decided to move high schools on a whim one night, the next day i was there. I overthink everything yet i am impulsive. I am a walking contradiction. The world makes no sense to me. I seem to live in my own little world and use escape-ism as often as i can. I don't really give a fuck what you think of me. I used to be so self concious and now, it's like i don't even give it room to house itself in my brain. Maybe that's why i like being one on one with people, you feel as though there is no one in the world apart from yourself and the other, the feeling of euphoria takes over your body and reality and the concept of time is inexistant.
You dream what i'm dreaming, and see what i'm seeing.
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