Maybe i've been pushing the barriers a bit too far. I've always had this natural interest in going that little bit over the boundary. I am a good person, deep down i know i am. I don't try to hurt people, but i do, that hurts. I don't hurt many people, but the ones i do, are the ones who mean the most. I don't know who i trust anymore and i don't think i even trust myself. I spend too much time thinking and not enough time doing. I have broken down the wall i held up between myself and the person i know i can become. My fear is slowly flying away but at the same time settling somewhere in my mind. It's there, somewhere, but i choose to ignore it and hope it goes away. I have a feeling i am going to lose a lot of friends or potential friendships becoming the person i know myself to really be. I am NOT constantly happy and i do NOT like everyone. I'm fucking sick of pretending and it's going to stop now. I am sick of having to pretend like i respect religion and pray to a God everyday that i know is not real. There is no God, someone created him so that people would have a reason to get through life without grasping the concept that we are what we are and we will never know the real meaning of life and how we got here. Religion is based on fear. You don't need to pretend like there is someone out there looking down on you and making sure you are okay. You don't NEED to trick your mind into believing you will always have something or someone to look after you. You are in control of your body and your actions, not God. If there is a God, then why the hell would he kill the people i love and put so many people through so much pain. If you are up there somewhere, then i don't want to know you, you let this happen. I will continue to push the barriers to the side and discover who i really am.