This has been one of the most lonely weekends i have had in a long time. I am grounded. I feel so disconnected from the world, but at the same time it was nice to have some time alone to think. There is a lot on my mind at the moment and i don't know where to begin. I've been singing, a lot. Music is really keeping me going. I'm thinking i might get a tattoo dedicated to music and what it has done for me over the years. I desperately a holiday. 9 days left of school until the summer holidays. I can't wait. I mean, they will be a lot different to my past summer holidays. I have to write approximately 25,000 words for my school assignments. So, there will be a good three or four weeks dedicated to working. But the rest i'm going to spend on writing songs, going out, seeing friends and having a fucking good time. I went to the councellor for the first time in almost half a year the other day. I told her absolutely everything and she shocked me by telling me how unbelievably proud she is of me. I overcame my eating disorder, i can control my anxiety most of the time, i have dealt with the grief over Belle, i am driving, i am sleeping and i am standing up for myself and doing what i want to do. I never recognized all my achievments, only the problems i still have. It was nice to see myself in a different light. I was absolutely petrified at going back, but i know now that i have to, just at least for this next year, to get my hsc in order and to make sure i'm ready to go out and explore the world on my own. Toby has really been helping me lately, with everything. It's nice to meet someone who has the same viewpoint on the world and who accepts me for who i am. Anyway, im off, i have a shitload of drama notes to write and i have to attempt to clean my room. Au revoir.